Have you ever been alone in a crowded room when I'm here with you?

Have you ever been alone in a crowded room; well I'm here with you...

“Faith makes it possible, not easy.”
-- Sally Nguyen

Not a bad Halloween Dance Cruise. It got kinda boring after a while for those who did not dance or where not glued to the video games all day. I just learned that I am NEVER going to get my future read through horoscopes, crystal balls, Terra cards, or ANYTHING of the sort. Someone did that today and the future for this person kinda freaked her out... it WAS pretty freaky so I can't blame her.

“To look is one thing
To see what you look at is another
To understand what you see is a third
To learn from what you understand is still something else
To act on what you learn is all that really matters.”
-- Anonymous

I originally believed that my turning 15 was over a few days ago on Saturday. I think I was proven wrong. I was sitting at my desk doing homework on the 28th (the Monday) when my dad walks into my room with a box and says "Here Jon, see if these fit you." I was really surprised seeing as how my parents had already gotten me a pair of contacts for my b-day (costing several hundred dollars I might add). Anyhow, he got me a brand new pair of badminton shoes... top quality I might add. Do you think my mother knows... I think not. Haha. So generous. School's fallen back into its normal routine. Nothing to look towards really except boat dance tomorrow. And then after that, nothing until December. November is so... uneventful.

“You're never too busy to listen;
Never too hurried to care.
You're always so eager, to offer your help;
Always so willing to share.”
-- Anonymous

I'd like to dedicate this quote to a couple of people. You people know exactly who you are. (Partly because you're probably the only people who actually read this. haha). In any case, just want to give a big shout out and thanks to you people. You're the most amazing group of friends anyone in this would could ever ask for.

"The bigger the hill you climb,
The more you can see from the top,
The more you enjoy the ride down,
And the longer the ride lasts."
-- Frank Stephens

Q: Who is the President of Russia?
Julie: "Gorbachev"
Stacey: "Gretzky"
(correct answer: Boris Yeltsin)
Q: Define the meaning of NAACP.
Julie: "Something, something, something, for Certified Pianists"
Stacey: "It's some kind of police organization."
(correct answer: National Association for the Advancement of Colored
People)
Q: Who was the inventor of the lightbulb?
Julie: "I know Edison invented the telephone, but I can't remember the
lightbulb guy."
Stacey: "I don't know."
(correct answer: Thomas A. Edison. Alexander Graham Bell was the
phone guy!)
Q: Who is the Speaker of the House?
Julie: "Gore something-or-other."
Stacey: "Bill Clinton."
(correct answer: Newt Gingrich.For the benefit of international members
of the market, Al "Gore" is the U.S. Vice President, "Bill Clinton" is
our president. )
Q: Define the meaning of the letters CIA.
Julie: "I don't know."
Stacey: "Certified Investigation Association."
(correct answer: Central Intelligence Agency)
Q: What is the center of our solar system?
Julie: "The Equator"
Stacey: "The Moon"
(correct answer: The Sun)
Changing his tack to create better odds for the girls, Howard switched
to what he termed "industry related" questions:
Q: What do the initials "DK" stand for?
A: both knew it was fashion designer "Donna Karan."
Q: What is "Cristal?"
A: both knew it was an elite champagne
Q: What car company has a model known as a "911?"
A: both knew it was Porsche
Q: Who's face is on the (U.S.) $100 bill?
A: both knew it was Ben Franklin

Ah, the glorious weekend. And of course, the stuff about Al Gore being VP and Bill Clinton being Pres is old news.

“For long you live and high you fly,
For smiles you give and tears you cry,
For all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be.”
-- Pink Floyd

It's a dog's Life...
Daily Routine
The day is divided into two important sections. Mealtime. And everything else.

I. Mealtime
1. Just because there does not seem to be anything visible around to eat certainly does not mean there is nothing around to eat. The act of staring at the underside of a table or chair on which someone else is eating sets in motion a chain of events that eventually results in food.
2. It goes without saying that you should carefully check the lower third of any space for edibles. Mouth-sized things which cannot be identified by sight or smell are considered gum.
3. When you actually receive a meal, submerge your head into it as you would a shower. Never, never look up again until a minimum of at least fifteen minutes after the obvious food is gone. This is important. Just because your dish is empty does not mean that it is time to stop eating.
4. Remember that all food is potentially yours up until the time that it is actually swallowed by another. The lengthy path a piece of food will take from a plate to a mouth via a hand is as good a time as any to stake your claim to it.
5. When it comes to selecting an appropriate beverage, location and packaging mean nothing. There are absolutely no exceptions to this rule.
6. If you really see something you want, and all your other attempts at getting it have failed, it is only right to grovel shamelessly. As a second tactic, stare intently at the object of your desire, allowing long gelatinous drools to leak like icicles from your lower lip.
II. Everything Else
1. There are really only two important facial expressions to bother with: complete and overwhelming joy and nothing at all.
2. Any time that is not meal time is potentially nap time. The best time to take a nap is when you hear your name being called repeatedly. The best location for a nap is dead center of any street or driveway. The most relaxing position is on your side, all four limbs parallel.
3. The most practical way to get dry is to shake violently near a fully clothed person. A second effective method is to stand on a light-colored piece of furniture.
4. Personal Safety
A. At the first hint of any irregular noise, run from room to room yelling loudly. If someone actually comes into the house, rush over to them whether you know them or not. Then kiss them so violently that they lose their balance or have to force you away physically.
B. The greatest unacknowledged threat to life as we have come to know it is squirrels. No matter what you must do, make sure there are none in your yard.
5. Recreation and Leisure
A. Ball: There are two equally amusing sets of rules you will want to know.
a. The Common Form, in which you receive a thrown ball and return it.
b. The Preferred Form, in which you receive a thrown ball and eat it.
B. Car: As you know, any open car door is an invitation to get in. Once inside, your only goal is to try to get out.
6. Health
A. In the event of a trip to the doctor, always be on your guard. If you are vaccinated, urinate on the physician.

Classic example of brilliance. Haha.

"I promise not to tell anybody."
-- Anonymous (I dont' want to mention names)

Advice to everyone out there, don't EVER believe any person who says the above BS unless you know for sure you can trust them. I guess I learned the hard way. To the person who may have gotten hurt because I learned this the hard way (you know who you are) I'm SOOOOOOOOOO sorry about what happened. I promise, it won't ever happen again (like I'm gonna trust the person who said "I promise not to tell anybody." ever again so long as I live). Sigh, why do my mistakes always end up hurting my closest friends.

“Having a place to go - is a home.
Having someone to love - is a family.
Having both - is a blessing.”
-- Donna Hedges

A whole bunch of literacy test stuff to do. Oh well, at least I have a slight edge in this one thanks to Elaine Cheung for giving me her last year literacy stuff. Good practice. A BIG shout out to ya, Elaine, thanks a million.

“It is not enough to do your best; you must know what to do, and THEN do your best”
-- W. Edwards Deming

Why does my memory keep failing me. I retained like 25% of what happened during the last 7 hours. Hmm. Arrived at Denise's place at around 3 in the afternoon, and played Pachelbel and Vanessa Carlton the the piano. Then The lot (of about 7 people) went downstairs to watch a movie. Of course, the movie was filmed in chinese... cantonese for that matter, so I didn't watch it... I'd feel like an idiot sitting in the basement when everyone else burst into wild laughter and I'd just sit there, not having the foggiest clue what was going on. Omair soon arrived, and we (Denise, Omair, and I, later joined by Herman) sat outside on Denise's front porch burning up paper. I think it was part of her history assignment to make her papers look old. First there was a heated debate on whether or not Denise's parents kept tea bags, because they work just as well as fire, and are much less time consuming. But it turned out that teabags were not common items in the house, so we had to settle for the fire. Denise once burned the edge of a paper and I think she left it burning for some reason. All I remember was Omair's voice breaking out saying, "Denise, you're supposed to blow the flames out!" Denise came back to reality or something, and quickly blew the flames out. I think that may or may not have been the one where half the title was burned off. After the burning session, it seemed as if all of Denise's documents had been rescued from some sort of fire. We went inside and saw Rush Hour 2, during which Omair sent a barrage of stuffed animals at Herman. Dinner was alright... Denise's dad told me I couldn't leave his house until I had eaten at least 5 dishes. We watched MI2, a movie that for some reason, Omair and I had seen clips of, but not the entire movie. After the movie ended, we ended up in Denise's room where Omair tried to fold Denise up in a way, while she was lying on her mattress... or something of the sort. It was funny. Omair ended up stamping Denise's name on her arm. Denise ended up making wierd 30 second videos of herself making strange facial expressions. Anyways, it was an awesome evening all the same.

“Information Superhighway” is really an acronym for “Interactive Network For Organizing, Retrieving, Manipulating, Accessing and Transferring Information On National Systems, Unleashing Practically Every Rebellious Human Intelligence, Gratifying Hackers, Wiseacres, And Yahoos.”
-- Keven Kwaku

Sunday's always seem to be rather empty, such as it was today. Badminton was less eventful than the usual. And now I'm sitting in the house with a bunch of Chinese friends of my mom and dad and... blah. Everyone's seems to be laughing and having so much fun and I'm just... blah. Still, I'm not depressed, so it's considerably better than what it normally would be.

Theoretically.....
A contest was recently held for people to submit new theories on ANY subject. Below are the winners:
4th RUNNER-UP
Probability Theory
If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.
3rd RUNNER-UP
Bio-Mechanics
Why Yawning Is Contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they then yawn to even it out.
2nd RUNNER-UP
Symbolic Logic
Communist China is technologically underdeveloped because they have no alphabet and therefore cannot use acronyms to communicate technical ideas at a faster rate.
1st RUNNER-UP
Newtonian Mechanics
The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.
HONORABLE MENTION
Linguistics
The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks his cah," the lost R's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl" wells.
GRAND PRIZE WINNER
Perpetual Motion
When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands buttered side down. It was proposed to strap giant slabs of hot buttered toast to the back of a hundred tethered cats; the two opposing forces will cause the cats to hover, spinning inches above the ground. Using the giant buttered toast/cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

“Life is borne within your dreams
Success is making dreams come true
A Successful Life, is well within your means
The Miracle of future life... is You.”
--- Francis Rogerson

A bunch of grade 10's went to the Science Center today... that's almost 2/3s of the grade 10s. For some reason, the number of people in Science this term compared to the number of people doing science next term are outrageously disproportional.

Being an Evil Overlord seems to be a good career choice. It pays well, there are all sorts of perks and you can set your own hours. However every Evil Overlord I've read about in books or seen in movies invariably gets overthrown and destroyed in the end. I've noticed that no matter whether they are barbarian lords, deranged wizards, mad scientists or alien invaders, they always seem to make the same basic mistakes every single time. Therefore, if I ever happen to become an Evil Overlord:
1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.

5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicatment before killing them.
7. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, ``Or are you afraid without your armies to back you up?'' My reply will be, ``No, just sensible.''
8. When I've captured my adversary and he says, ``Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?'' I'll say, ``No.'' and shoot him.
9. After I kidnap the beautiful princess, we will be married immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks' time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary. If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled ``Danger: Do Not Push''.
11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to overthrow me -- I'll do it myself.
12. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel well outside my borders will work just as well.
13. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive to show they pose no threat.
14. I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident -- I'm not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it.
15. I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word ``mercy''; I simply choose not show them any.

16. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before implementation.
17. All slain enemies will be cremated, not left for dead at the bottom of the cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the aforementioned disposal.
18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or adhere to any other dress codes.
19. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form of last request.
20. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
21. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he's caused.
22. I will never utter the sentence ``But before I kill you, there's just one thing I want to know.''

23. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their advice.
24. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
25. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil, but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd betray her own father.
26. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could adjust to accordingly.
27. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original uniforms for my legions of terror, as opposed to some cheap knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
28. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
29. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
30. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at least I will never utter the line ``No, this cannot be! I AM INVINCIBLE!!!'' (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
31. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort of machinery which is completely indestructable except for one small and virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.

32. If I am engaged in a duel to the death with the hero and I am fortunate enough to knock the weapon out of his hand, I will graciously allow him to retrieve it. This is not from a sense of fair play; rather, he will be so startled and confused that I will easily be able to dispatch him.
33. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me. Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a prisoner sent to my bedchamber.

Copyright 1996 by Peter Anspach

PLEASE, please heed the copyright warning of our good friend Peter Anspach. If the above is in any way altered, or posted anywhere without the attached copyright sign, this man WILL take legal action.

I was asked today to define "sanity." I pondered for a while before coming up with "Mentally capable." I don't think my definition helped that much. She just asked me "What does mentally capable mean?" How the devil do you explain the word sanity to a young girl?

This was one LOOOOONNNNNNNGGGGGGG entry which is why I broke it up into different parts. Blogger can't take that much.

“Take a walk with your fear
And allow it to run
For the courage that you gain
Is the fear you overcome”
-- Ty Higgins

“If it is the philosopher's stone you seek, find it in your friends,
For your friends can turn a day as dark as coal,
Into a day as bright as gold.”
-- Vonce

Interesting Facts
1) If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
2) If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
3) The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
4) Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
5) On average people fear spiders more than they do death.
6) The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.
7) It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.
8) You can't kill yourself by holding your breath.
9) Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.
10) Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
11) You are more likely to be killed by a champagne cork than by a poisonous spider.
12) Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people do.
13) In ancient Egypt, Priests plucked EVERY hair from their bodies, including their eyebrows and eyelashes.
14) The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.
15) Polar bears are left-handed.
16) The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.
17) The flea can jump 350 times its body length--that is like a human jumping the length of a football field.
18) A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.
19) Butterflies taste with their feet.
20) Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.
21) A cat's urine glows under a black light.
22) An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.
23) Starfishes haven't got brains. There are a lot of starfishes driving in Boston.

"No one gets to choose their lot in life but we can all choose what we build on it."
-- Anonymous

A friend at school today could not seem to stop cracking up when I told her about how I had once caught my little cousin's vomit in my hands. Somehow, it amuses her. I just finished a civics essay... now all I have left is a history essay, a history test, and an English test to study for, not to mention a careers bulletin board. Oh well.

Odd Instructions On Product Packages
On my hairdryer instructions: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

On a bar of Dial soap, it says, Directions: Use like regular soap.

I have a frozen dinner at home that says: Serving suggestion: Defrost.

On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: fits one head.

On Tesco's tirimisu desert - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.)

On Marks & Spencer bread pudding - Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron - Do not Iron clothes on body.

On Boots Childrens Cough Medicine - Do not drive car or operate machinery.

On Nytol (a sleep aid) - Warning: may cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife - Warning keep out of children.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights - For indoor or outdoor use only.

On a Japanese food processor - Not to be used for the other use.

On Sainsbury's Peanuts - Warning: contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts - Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

On a Swedish chainsaw - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands.

On a packet of Sunmaid Raisins - Why not try tossing over your favourite breakfast cereal?

“Love is recognizing the imperfections, comprehending them, enduring them, and in spite of it all, still loving the one with them.”
-- Terri Kendrick

This is pretty much a post about stupid things I've learned not to do the hard way..

1. If you get a sponge or some type of material stuck in the bathtub drain, don't stick your fingers in there and try to get it out. The result is very painful and bloody.

2. Tie your hair (if it's long) when you're using an eggbeater, and if you don't have it tied, for God's sake, don't bend over the bowl. (This didn't happen to me... I'm not prone to letting my hair grow past my eyebrows.)

3. When you're using a stapler, don't put your thumb on top of the paper to hold the paper in place.

4. When you're in a swimming pool (even in the shallow end) and someone is almost drowning, if you're about the same age, height, and weight as them, don't try to "rescue" them. (Thank God my cousin finally pulled us out. ...Then I threw up on her shoulder.)

5. Just because a toaster doesn't use actual fire to toast bread (or Pop Tarts!) doesn't mean that it's not hot enough to make a paper napkin catch on fire.

6. Don't pour milk into your dinner meal... especially if it consists of such food like rice, chicken, and some form of green vegetable (yes, I actually did this, sometime when I was younger.)

7. Don't drink orange juice and milk mixed together.

8. Sticky Tak (a.k.a. Poster Putty, or whatever the devil you call it.) does not also work as an eraser.

9. Miles, a character from Tuck Everlasting, was not possessed by the devil.

10. Don't try to swallow whole grapes.

11. If you feel like practicing your badminton swing, do not do it within the confines of your room with the ceiling lamp right above your head.

12. If you're cutting a piece of posterboard with a very sharp knife, don't hold it in the air right above your leg.

13. Water does not defy gravity, so don't test it by throwing an opened water bottle into the air.

14. Vanilla extract does NOT taste like vanilla. (ah the things I did as a younger child never cease to amuse me)

15. Likewise, cocoa powder should not be used as a subtitute for hot chocolate power without first adding some sugar and milk into the cup.

16. When running from someone, in a game of tag or whatnot, do not turn your head to see if the chaser is gaining on you for an extended period of time without checking in front of you for a wooden fence or any sort of barrier.

"It's the everlasting battle.
It's the pain and the strife.
It's the smiles and the laughter.
The journey we call life.
-- Jessica Jakob"

And yes, we are officially within the month of October. I kicked butt at badminton last night, I was 4-1, meaning I won 4 of my games, and lost my last one to one of the best players there... I lost 18 to nothing. I thought that badminton games were only supposed to go up to 15. Oh well, I'll beat him next time... it's all in the wrist.